When's the last time you did something for the first time?

I love it here. I know I sound a bit abnormal. One second I'm hating where I am, and then in the next breath, I'm loving every minute of it. Well here's the thing, or the irony of it all. I love it when I'm alone or at least in comforting company. I truly like solace and spirituality. I adore simple pleasures as well as material measures. I'm a girl who considers herself to be brilliant, but I tend to forget that around insecure people. I feel my worst when I'm working terrible schedules, as well as not being given the proper time to care for my body. The outside world is too loud, and my neighbors are extremely inconsiderate. I thrive alongside soft melodies and even softer words of affirmations. I see change within myself, when I'm placing my pains elsewhere, instead of bottling it up within myself. I'm done compartmentalize my trauma, and storing it all throughout my body and mind, it's no fun and it's no good for my health. I'm a dang

Isn't it funny? Isn't it hilarious? Isn't it like a bit odd how much other people think that they know what YOU need? Too many people are telling me to stay put, to stay here when really I want to be there -to be where happiness resides 24/7. There's nothing new for me here, but why does it feel like the universe is forcing me to stay where I no longer feel the need to be. My energy is stuck here, it's gotten lazy here. My mental has been running a bit slower here, and worst of all, my body hasn't been moving that much here. New pains have been revealing itself here and even my apprentice has been showing weird signs here. So, what does a sensitive soul do when their energy no longer resonates in a certain location anymore? How do they get everything they ever wanted, while also still being on the fence of doubt and panic? They manifest a new environment silly. They affirm new words and even better feelings. They become a pioneer, as well as a pers

Well this looks familiar. This space looks just as unkept as I last left it, or witnessed it, shall I say. It seems like I'm supposed to clean something I never dirtied -something I would've cleaned if I actually messed up. I promise I wou'd've wiped the counters or even vaccumed the dirt, but the thing is I left before I witnessed just how unclean a space could actually become if it were loved unproperly. I don't know why I keep coming back here without my say so. Am I supposed to feel the dirt, or am I supposed to thank it? But why would I thank a messy environment if I actually thrive in cleaner spaces? What could it possibly say to me, that would actually ease my pain, my hurt. I was happy for what... a week, and then what I had was so carelessly taken from me, after everyone around me saw, and even took me to this "happiness". I wish there was something I could take, something that would make me numb -possibly even erase my memory for a day

You may not believe this, because I didn't... but some things aren't meant to be explored any longer. Some things are meant to be put to rest, to protect your energetic field. If stress kills where do you think you'll end up next if you decide to keep going down the path that has shown you many times over that its just not worth it. I've tried to do many things all at once, and I hated those who could very well see just how much it was killing me. I despised being who people thought I should be based off how easily torn I am, because in a way those same people were only projecting. They were also informing me just how little they could do when under large amounts of pressure, and whereas stress comes with a bitter after taste, somehow I wanted to prove them wrong all while damaging what needed growth -what essentially needed my attention. I'm here, because in the same sense I'm also drowning and maybe you are too, or maybe you've already managed

I think I could possibly tell you the truth, if you were to tell me something made up, some sort of lie to include me without ever giving me the chance to feel marked, and or caught up in something that didn't really need my existence to begin with. It's just before midnight, and I'm writing to you, to anyone, just before my life changes tomorrow. I want proof that I knew greatness was possible, but I also want proof that my thoughts were there all along, and I wasn't having another psychosis attack if not blessed attack to somehow relieve myself of all of this deceit. I feel misunderstood and in most cases I love that about myself, but tonight I feel like I'm about to walk into new territory, and I somehow feel different this time. I don't know if I'm at all fearful or just excited that in this current moment, I know that I'm willing to do anything that it takes to leave this sad but made to believe "sweet "escape. Maybe I'm sad o

Hi. I mean hey, I'm gone but you're not. I keep leaving without a trace, but somehow I'm always found by determined people. They're always trying to break into my head, without the proper skills to ever want to fix me, once they've so carelessly took from me. How can we possibly live well if we keep running through the same fields that just aren't that beneficial, in today's current energy. I think the less you choose to come around, the more good things will come into existence. When we say less, the chances are always higher when it comes to moving further in our own reality. But when I was with said person, a person I let go of a long time ago, I soon was able to see just how much she was taking from me. She was awful and still she rides with this corruption. She was shooting down my kites, the same kites she stood in line with me, so that I could buy -in order to heal my childhood. Today is someone I once knew birthday, and I was always ther