If I could escape...

By Itgirl Overload
I think I could possibly tell you the truth, if you were to tell me something made up, some sort of lie to include me without ever giving me the chance to feel marked, and or caught up in something that didn't really need my existence to begin with. It's just before midnight, and I'm writing to you, to anyone, just before my life changes tomorrow. I want proof that I knew greatness was possible, but I also want proof that my thoughts were there all along, and I wasn't having another psychosis attack if not blessed attack to somehow relieve myself of all of this deceit. I feel misunderstood and in most cases I love that about myself, but tonight I feel like I'm about to walk into new territory, and I somehow feel different this time. I don't know if I'm at all fearful or just excited that in this current moment, I know that I'm willing to do anything that it takes to leave this sad but made to believe "sweet "escape.
Maybe I'm sad or maybe the night lofi that I'm currently listening to -is rubbing off on me and the darkest parts of myself. I feel like Van Gogh, just before he got carried away by all of his sadness, and went on to mutilate himself. I feel like the moon without the sun's forgiviness. I feel like a combusted star. I want to move on but I also know that moving on will hurt. It'll hurt knowing that none of this was ever meant to last. The pain will mostly turn into more pain, but also I know that some hurts are better than no hurts. You know the empty hurts that have been around for so long that they slowly turn into numb wounds? You know the hurts that overtime turn into resentment. COME BACK ONLY IF IT'S JUST FOR A SECOND OR TWO!!!!! I'll be the first to say it... xoxo ItGirl OverLoad in a lonely world xoxo

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Murder the unhinged video game controllers!!!!

By Itgirl Overload
Image
It was you. It was always you. It was you that played the video game and somehow your October wasn't all that bad. I mean maybe I'm speaking for myself, but I had to allow October to run it's course. I had to in fact allow october to run into a wall, so that I could handle what October's redundant handler was wickedly handling -time and time again. It's always been about time and what it's been overly doing. Life is mallory, but only to those who don't step in and take their reigns. I may or may not have refreshed what was so clearly being replayed. I couldn't stand all of my previous Octobers', and I had to cry it all out to be able to see November. Maybe I have a plan that doesn't allow some if not most energies to come with, but at least I can come back and be a confidant to your unlocal misery, right? What did October tether you to, and how did you make it here? How did you make it to November? Did you slide, crawl, run, skate, glide, walk
Read more

After Hours ~ I WANT OUT!!!

By Itgirl Overload
Image
I'm not going to even ask you why you're still up, because who said that you had to do, what most people would do when it's dark outside. Who said your spirit would begin to relax when the sun sets? I've come to an understanding, when it comes to troubled souls. I came to the conclusion that some of us are beyond gone... but that doesn't mean we can't be found. No person is truly lost. If you wish to be found then shall that be your outcome. But like I said you have to really want to be seen in unseen places. But anyways I'm here once again, for an AFTERHOURS SPILL SESS. So do what you do best, and come to the back of my digital store to hear what I've got to say. I wanted to spill my guts. I wanted to resonate with someone. I know I'm not the only one, that has to unfortunately deal with depression and anxiety. But here's the thing, sometimes what we carry isn't ours to carry. Sometimes we're suffering, from other peo
Read more

9/11 ~ A tale as old as time to nonbelievers...

By Itgirl Overload
Image
Honestly sometimes I feel like I'm intimidating and then there are other times where I'm just too breezy for other people's projections. It's always too easy for me. One day I'm scary and then I'm just like someone else -feeling the weight of the world. But through it all I've never been a small minded person. I don't think I'm overly official but I am able to realize that some people are just built different -mentally. Everything is real but for some odd reason there a people walking this earth without the capability to think how I think -or how you think on a daily as well as morally signifcant compass. Scary isn't it? I remember when I was back in school, I noticed how much the school systems seemed to make it their sole mission to allow things to live that needed nothing but to be put to rest. Cruel things became normal things and in the end it became our daily vocabulary for such unintended expression. None of us knew that we were be
Read more