Midnight Thoughts~ what if's....

By Itgirl Overload
I think the "what if's" are dangerous, yet so delicious. it's the knowing and the unknown that bends the reality within us causing our thoughts to explore unseen realms. I'm always running mental marathons around the polarity in "what if's", and how without them I would feel so lost, but when it's entirety surrounds my orbit it makes me want to vomit. I needed to express myself, and the only way I knew how was to switch on my bedroom light, while choosing to type away. I never know what to say, but still I always find myself here -in the same place. The place that allows me to be, me. so what if, I end it here. what if I stop typing and end the words here, or what if I keep going. who will I be a second from now, or even an hour from now -if I let it all out? and what could stop me if I was too gullible to see past the illusions. to see past the designs created by others who are also wrapped in the "what if's". this short but very juicy trap is just another void and too many people are being held captive by a tall tale shark scaring its prey, the only way it knows how -cornering it's prey while making them believe the ocean isn't as vast as it is, or that the ocean isn't as unshaped as it may appear.
I've been so meek, and even though I want to get back to my extraordinary plane of existence, I'm still here. I'm still seemingly stuck here, in a place where there's no gravity. and oh, how beautiful it is to see things float when you've seen everything remain so perfectly still. it's infamous, I tell you. what if tonight goes on forever? what if my phone dies, and I miss an important message or an important request? what if my ears play tricks on me? what if Alice had no clue why she painted the white roses red? what if my life is parallel to the poetry, I created in the past, and what if I'll never find my best words. my best poems. what if my best work is lost, forever. what if forever stretches on forever and ever and ever... and well you get the point.
what if I never stop saying what if... would I eventually be alright???? I let too much crap fester and it was only making me unattractive xoxo the ItGirl who wants to stop her body aches xoxo

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