Restoration Always Comes With A Price!!!

By Itgirl Overload
I don't know about you, but I hate placing myself in environments knowing that all it's going to do is take my time. I despise being uncomfortable and having everyone around me not understand why I'm the way I am. I know. I know it's easier to allow other people's judgments roll off your chest, but here's the thing, what if those judgments are overtly intense. What if I'm revealing myself in a way that just seems too filthy to ever compromise? What should I do then? Should I still go or should I fall back and learn my lesson -and try again tomorrom? But through it all I can't hide the fact that sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me.
But here we are. It's Saturday and today can ether be a good and productive day if I want it to be or I can just sit around and allow my mind to throw me off a cliff. I've come here to say that your restoration may look a lot different from mines. I can't tell you what demons you may have to face to see your actual face -in the end, but I can say that I've felt some demons leave me but what about the ones that are seemingly not going as easily as the other ones. I've been paying a hefty price. I've been noticing that the things that I want don't want me unless I promise to come alone. The journey with my name on it doesn't want anyone else but me, and for some reason I keep bringing those who are obviously unwanted to the pearly white gates. Am I stopping my own freedom by not wanting to fully believe that my own family would be the very reason we all get kicked out, before fully being let in? IF YOU LISTEN CLOSELY YOUR LIFE IS ALWAYS TELLING YOU SOMETHING!!! I need to know that one day I'll go my separate way and allow my family to destroy one another without dragging me down as well. xoxo ItGirl OverLoad xoxo

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