Pink Wednesday's are Pink Lies!!!

Let me be clear here, because what's more clear than rose colored goggles? I mean in a way with rose colored glasses comes a keen sense of delusion. But let me be real with you(something I love doing), I don't always feel real. Most days I feel dead, and when I don't feel that way... I want to be that way. I've seen the world at it's worst, and still I tried to be my very best -my absolute best and where the fuck did that get me if not more depressed? I shied away from this segment altogether, because I couldn't do this if my head wasn't all the way in it. I was lying to you, and I hated it. I was making it seem as if every Wednesday and Thursday was the absolute perfect segway to perfection. I made a makeshift ride and told all of you to enjoy it, even though I despise amusements parks, because I can never find the amusement.
I can't be happy everyday, because where and how would I grow? I also don't want to be depressed everyday, but I'm in the stage where everything falls apart just by me looking at it. I not even aligned with my cat like energy. I've had more lives than I can guess, but in the same sentence with each lifeline I was able to see a bit further. I was able to see a bit clearer. Why is that? Why must I die before I'm able to fully comprehend my life's purpose. But then again I was never stupid, miserabe yes, but never dumb. I think, I mean I know what I'm supposed to do, but I keep fucking it up beforehand. Ughhhhh.
DON'T WORRY MY FINGERS ARE STILL PINK, RUSTY BUT PINK!!!! Don't play with me play with yourself... you little creep. xoxo ItGirl OverLoad xoxo

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