Sunday Expressions~ So do I embrace the hollowness???

By Itgirl Overload
I was doing fine, until I wasn't. I don't know where my head is going, but I can't particularly stop what I'm unaware of. I can't tell in which direction my mental is going to go, so for now I'm just stuck waiting for that awful feeling that's about to wash over me. Who else feels the exact same way? The feeling is best compared to the end of the world, and you don't know if you should feel ashamed or empty. It's like a cloud that unexpectedly clouds your most inner thoughts. What am I even thinking when i get like this? Am I even thinking or am I just tricking myself into not feeling brain dead? I envy those who can live day by day -like it's just another day. Why can't people like me -with heads like mines ever catch a break?
Anyways thank you for being here, while I aimlessly rant. I'm trying to pinpoint my feelings before tomorrow, because I want to know where I'm going -and not just go with an unpredictable current. How do you deal with the hollowness, do you force it back down or do you endure it? I need to know, because I'm always left feeling guilty... like I can be something more or doing something more. I can never just relax without feeling bad about it, why is that? Why can't I be untalented at times? Why can't I just be uncreative, even though I'm secretly wanting and knowing just how creative I can truly be? Ughhhhh I hate the thought of dying before my actual death. It's frustrating and not at all liberating.
I THINK I'M GETTING THE HANG OF EXPRESSING MYSELF MORE; WHAT DO YOU THINK??? I get exhausted just thinking about how empty I feel. xoxo ItGirl OverLoad xoxo

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